Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have a reading level above third grade

Why do so many 18 to 29-year-old men struggle in dating?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Romania in the past was a poor country, but last year the government announced it had 521 billion leu (113$ billion dollars) revenue. Why is so much? What's the reason?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

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I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I've never read the book. What did Dorian Grey do that was so immoral and sinful?

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Don't you think Democrats are so full of it stool softener and an enema couldn't help them?

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I see through liars

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

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I have complete contempt for traitorism

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

What is it like to be a Christian in Iran?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

Why does my intimate area “sweat” and smell so much? I almost have to have a shower everyday. How do I get rid of this?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Why did McLaren hope that the Ferrari pair would pit twice during the Italian Grand Prix?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I can read

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand how hurricane paths work

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t buy bullshit

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I can count

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for fakery

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I actually pay taxes

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP